After the essay I collapsed in front of mindless tv entertainment for a week and tried to think in pictures instead of the dreaded words. Couldn't write a sentence.

It was a great relief to have it off my shoulders but not in the way I expected. The process, it turned out, was a real joy. Once I moved beyond thinking of the essay as something I 'just had to get done' to seeing it as a challenging, thought provoking, intense and rewarding process it stopped being the chore I had made it in my mind. In effect I was forced to get to a point of acceptance because it took so ridiculously long. I've discovered that trying to research and write in the pockets of time that small children allow is impossible. My '1 week of reading plus 3 days of writing' game plan stretched to twice that and eventually I was obliged to squirrel away at my big sister's vacant house for a weekend to get it finished. It is so great to know that I can still sit for 8 hours a day - or longer - and write on something that is not my first choice and does not come easy like creative writing. I really needed to go through the fire I think.

So thank you to the Counting Crows who, as with every assignment since year 12 Lit has provided the soundtrack to my brain strain, to Sharon and her house, Ness and her Doritos, Muz and his nights of solitary and to everyone who endured the initial whining!!

On Monday we had our essays returned. I saw the large, red 'D', stuck it in my bag and left thinking 'the next one will be so much better'...bummer. Took me 15 minutes for it to dawn that 'D' means a distinction in this modern era and is not one grade off an F. Relief.

So that's great but it's a low D with a whole lotta red circles and question marks accompanying it. The next one WILL be so much better.

Comments

[York G'ma]

Well done.