Payneosophy

Last day with JJ

This morning Asher and I waved Jonah (JJ) and Murray goodbye  as they walked off down the road like we have done on a hundred similar occasions. This time was the last time we would do so.  Murray walked JJ to the local vet who, with absolute compassion and understanding, put our loyal friend of 10 years to sleep.

 

It has taken us a year to make the decision implemented today. We’ve had countless emotion filled conversations, debated the negatives of putting JJ down, and tried to think of elaborate ways to make it work. The reality is that a small block, minimal grass space, an 18 month old boy and an aging rottweiler/kelpie dog do not belong in the same sentence.

 

It only made it harder that Asher adores Jonah. How will he understand that his best mate is gone? And for us, what will the silence feel like? Will we regret it?

 

It has been a very sad morning but we know it was a good decision.

 

The vet was impressed to see a dog of JJ’s years still on his feet. JJ’s knees and hips went a while back but he still gets around (or he did). She said that it’s a wonder he can still walk, and that his mobility would decline over the next few months. He would then have been sustained on medication and only to pass away within  2 years. While incapacitated he could have changed temperament and become more risky around children. He would be unpredictable in his pain and old age, unable to assert his authority as head of his pack of one.
 
Jonah, ever man’s best (though slightly overenthusiastic) friend was as always the gentlemen with the vet.  He happily submitted to being prodded and weighed then given a sedative needle. The vet said that JJ was in the top 10%  in terms of behaviour, temperament, manners and obedience that she had seen for his breed. She said she can see he’s had a good life and this is the right time to say goodbye in the right way. That helped.

 

So we are proud of JJ and the life he has been and proud of us for doing the mature thing – for once – for Asher and our family. Maybe this is growing up.

 

Hopefully pretty soon we’ll stop feeling so miserable about it.

(Pic of JJ and I sharing my midday God chat - a regular thing while Asher sleeps - sneakily snapped by Muz attempting to catch me napping.)

 

My tax boy

Murray is away for a couple of weeks on a  business trip that includes NZ, Sydney and Adelaide. Here is an exert from his last email I couldn't help but share! Good to know he's not pining too much, and that some things never change....like Muz's love of all things tax...

(Written from the financial planning conference in NZ)

" The Australian Budget has been good for me (with work) - i was fearing a lot worse. We had this guy Ken, a self professed tax nerd, leave the gala dinner early to listen to the budget in the internet cafe, then draft a 2 page summary for people to take home at midnight! Classic.
 
The previous nights dinner was a combination of my favourite things - Japanese food (to die for), NZ wine and tax and financial planning talk!!! "

 

After the essay I collapsed in front of mindless tv entertainment for a week and tried to think in pictures instead of the dreaded words. Couldn't write a sentence.

It was a great relief to have it off my shoulders but not in the way I expected. The process, it turned out, was a real joy. Once I moved beyond thinking of the essay as something I 'just had to get done' to seeing it as a challenging, thought provoking, intense and rewarding process it stopped being the chore I had made it in my mind. In effect I was forced to get to a point of acceptance because it took so ridiculously long. I've discovered that trying to research and write in the pockets of time that small children allow is impossible. My '1 week of reading plus 3 days of writing' game plan stretched to twice that and eventually I was obliged to squirrel away at my big sister's vacant house for a weekend to get it finished. It is so great to know that I can still sit for 8 hours a day - or longer - and write on something that is not my first choice and does not come easy like creative writing. I really needed to go through the fire I think.

So thank you to the Counting Crows who, as with every assignment since year 12 Lit has provided the soundtrack to my brain strain, to Sharon and her house, Ness and her Doritos, Muz and his nights of solitary and to everyone who endured the initial whining!!

On Monday we had our essays returned. I saw the large, red 'D', stuck it in my bag and left thinking 'the next one will be so much better'...bummer. Took me 15 minutes for it to dawn that 'D' means a distinction in this modern era and is not one grade off an F. Relief.

So that's great but it's a low D with a whole lotta red circles and question marks accompanying it. The next one WILL be so much better.